What If We Only Fell Back?


I’m so mad. I completely slept through my favorite holiday “Fall Back”. This is terrible! I honestly don’t know what is going on this last year but something has got to change. I mean who the heck SLEEPS for eight hours a night? What is WRONG with me that I would be so lazy and miss getting up at 5:30 am on Fall Back Day, go for a run, have a cup of coffee, a shower and STILL have it only be 5:30 am? It’s the only day of the year I get to stop time (my chosen super power if I could have one)  and I missed it by sleeping in until NINE THIRTY. It’s no fun to wake up at 9:30 and say “Oh yippy. It’s only 8:30.” Lame. There are no giddy feelings about that. The day is pretty much OVER at 8:30. There’s no getting a jump on my life at that time of the day. Not even on a Sunday. I’ve got shit to do!

I have heard that it is possible that this could be the last year the state of Washington (and six other states) fall back an hour and I’m super worried. In fact, I think I have finally found something I feel strongly enough about that I might bombard social media, make t-shirts, signs, file a petition, and chain myself across a building somewhere all in protest  to SAVE FALL BACK. 

It’s not about the daylight saving, or energy saving that I’m concerned about (the original reason for the world renowned ‘daylight saving’ idea of springing forward an hour and back again in the fall). It’s about the TIME. And I have an idea. What if the state of Washington was the only state to only fall back an hour every year and NOT spring forward and we changed it to just “Day Saving Time”. In twenty four years, Washington would be one whole DAY ahead of all the other states. Think about what that could mean for productivity AND tourism. People would visit Washington just so they could say they time traveled! 

But I am kind of digressing. I really want to talk about all this sleep I have been getting. I think that this is the first year of my life that I am sleeping a good eight to nine hours a night for most of the days of the week. And I’m not talking light sleep. I’m talking dead to the world sleep. So deep that I’m dreaming full movies in color with theme songs playing that stick in my head all day until my head hits the pillow the next night to start all over again. It’s exhausting! And to answer your question, NO. I’m not taking drugs of any kind. My husband even told me I kept him awake the other night snoring. WTF! I don’t snore. It had to be one of the dogs. The nerve of some people. 

What does this mean? Have I lost my will to live that I would sleep past my favorite holiday? Am I no longer motivated, inspired or excited  enough about my life to meet the day like a WINNER at 5 am? 

I’m thinking about calling a sleep clinic to be assessed: “Yes. I’m really struggling with sleep. I’m just getting too much of it and it’s ruining my life. I’m wondering if I have a problem. I just feel way too rested.”

Anyhow. This is probably just a weird phase of happiness, peace and contentedness I’m going through. I will try to push through it as best as I can. Don’t lose any sleep over me. I’ll be okay. 

It’s National Blame Your Husband for Everything Day

It is 8:00 pm on November 1st, the first day of my personal commitment to writing a post on my blog site every single day in November, which I announced a couple days ago on Facebook.

Why would I DO that?

Because NOW I am stuck.

On the first day.

With nothing to say.

And November is National Blog Posting Month.

But it is also National Pomegranate Month. Why didn’t I just commit to eating a pomegranate every day? They are very good for you and kind of interesting to eat. My mom used to send my sister and me to the back yard to eat them. Now that I am a mother I see why. The bright red kernels found inside the thick outside skin are juicy little stain makers. It is also very time consuming to pick them out of their intricately encapsulated rows, so we would be occupied for at least an hour, emerging from the nutritious task with clown lips.

I actually had a spectacularly hilarious post written, completely ahead of schedule, at 4 am this morning, laughing quietly and celebrating how brilliant my writing was finally getting. Unfortunately all of the words were in my head and never actually got put on the page, because that would have required getting out of bed. Instead I fell back asleep and woke up again at 9 am, with mostly nothing in my head. And very little desire to do anything. The day was pretty much half over so there was really no sense in having any ambition.

Grant actually came in to check on me. I think he was worried I was dead because I never sleep that late. But then he jumped in the shower so he must have seen me breathing even though I was pretending to be dead so I wouldn’t have to do anything. Or maybe he thought he should be fresh and clean before he called 911.  Either way, when he got out of the shower I was sitting up in bed.

“Well hello there Princess Heather” he said.

“Hello servant Grant” I replied. “Please commence to doing all the stuff that needs to be done. I have to write my blog post but first I need coffee. Chop chop!”

I think Grant needs to get hearing aids because he commenced to brushing his teeth instead.

And so, on this fine evening of National Author’s Day, which by the way was also National Vinegar Day, National Deep Fried Clams Day and National Cook for Your Pets Day, all days that could have been super fun to celebrate had I not slept in so late that I didn’t have time to buy clams and vinegar to feed the dogs, cat, turtle and fish because I had to do my share of ‘the stuff’, I am lamenting that I did not pay heed to National Audiology Month. Which was last month.

Things could have worked out so much differently today.