It’s National Blame Your Husband for Everything Day

It is 8:00 pm on November 1st, the first day of my personal commitment to writing a post on my blog site every single day in November, which I announced a couple days ago on Facebook.

Why would I DO that?

Because NOW I am stuck.

On the first day.

With nothing to say.

And November is National Blog Posting Month.

But it is also National Pomegranate Month. Why didn’t I just commit to eating a pomegranate every day? They are very good for you and kind of interesting to eat. My mom used to send my sister and me to the back yard to eat them. Now that I am a mother I see why. The bright red kernels found inside the thick outside skin are juicy little stain makers. It is also very time consuming to pick them out of their intricately encapsulated rows, so we would be occupied for at least an hour, emerging from the nutritious task with clown lips.

I actually had a spectacularly hilarious post written, completely ahead of schedule, at 4 am this morning, laughing quietly and celebrating how brilliant my writing was finally getting. Unfortunately all of the words were in my head and never actually got put on the page, because that would have required getting out of bed. Instead I fell back asleep and woke up again at 9 am, with mostly nothing in my head. And very little desire to do anything. The day was pretty much half over so there was really no sense in having any ambition.

Grant actually came in to check on me. I think he was worried I was dead because I never sleep that late. But then he jumped in the shower so he must have seen me breathing even though I was pretending to be dead so I wouldn’t have to do anything. Or maybe he thought he should be fresh and clean before he called 911.  Either way, when he got out of the shower I was sitting up in bed.

“Well hello there Princess Heather” he said.

“Hello servant Grant” I replied. “Please commence to doing all the stuff that needs to be done. I have to write my blog post but first I need coffee. Chop chop!”

I think Grant needs to get hearing aids because he commenced to brushing his teeth instead.

And so, on this fine evening of National Author’s Day, which by the way was also National Vinegar Day, National Deep Fried Clams Day and National Cook for Your Pets Day, all days that could have been super fun to celebrate had I not slept in so late that I didn’t have time to buy clams and vinegar to feed the dogs, cat, turtle and fish because I had to do my share of ‘the stuff’, I am lamenting that I did not pay heed to National Audiology Month. Which was last month.

Things could have worked out so much differently today.



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