Clear Vision

“Well I’m trying to tell you something about my life, maybe give me insight between black and white.” 

-from ‘Closer to Fine’ by the Indigo Girls

Right around the first of March, I stopped wearing my glasses. I told my husband I felt certain I could heal my sight. Granted, my vision is not that poor. I can mostly see without my glasses, it just sometimes when I’m driving it feels like other drivers are trying to smash their cars into me because of a little depth perception issue. And night driving is a little scary, especially if it’s raining and all the other drivers insist on having their damn headlights on rendering me temporarily blinded. As ‘luck’ would have it, I did very little driving in March. Or in April, May and most of June, by which time I could not remember where I had put the two pairs of glasses I own. So when I finally did drive somewhere, it was a little chaotic with a bit a nervous verbal chatter on my end:

“Whoa there lady in the Suburban! No need to hog the damn road!” 

“Where did YOU come from Mr. Pedestrian? Have you thought about wearing brighter clothing?” 

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Why are there so many freaking cars on the freeway! We’re only in Phase F’ing TWO. Do you REALLY all need to be driving?” (I was on my way to see my hairdresser which is and will always be in MY mind, essential.)

Anyhow, my experiment failed and I eventually discovered where I had stashed my glasses having gained the insight that vision is rather important since I generally don’t like having cars almost smash into me all the time. I had been looking at my glasses as a nuisance and a crutch instead of a tool to help me see what was in front of me so that I can physically get from point A to point B in a more enjoyable and less frightening manner. Wearing my glasses also may or may not stop me from talking to complete strangers in the produce department at the grocery store, thinking I’m talking to my husband. I say ‘maybe’ because some of the conversations have been pretty entertaining.

But here’s the thing: my glasses don’t help me to completely see what is going on in the world. They only help me see what is in my narrowed scope of human vision. And I think maybe there is something to the idea of staying in my own lane, so to speak. There is so much that is blurry and confusing and institutionally polarized in this world right now. What I am realizing is that the more I focus on what I can’t clearly see, understand and fix, the more angry, helpless, paralyzed and BLIND I become to what is right in front of me where I CAN make a difference. I truly believe that we as individuals can make more positive impact on the world than any organized group ever will if we would simply tune out the chaos, narrow our focus and stop living in fear. Instead let’s each seek to humbly see ourselves with clear vision and perhaps do a little personal pivoting so that we can best use our unique talents to throw our love all over who and what is right in front of us. Maybe that’s where we start. I mean what else can we possibly do that is more important?

“It’s bigger than black and white

It’s a problem with the whole way of life 

It can’t be changed overnight 

But we gotta start somewhere 

Might as well gon’ ‘head start right here

We done had a hell of a year

I’ma make it count while I’m here

God is the only man I fear”

-from ‘The Bigger Picture’ by Lil Baby