Let’s put aside all these silly notions of defining people based on gender, skin color, religion, income level and the ability to solve the daily Wordle puzzle in three or less guesses and all admit that there are really only two kinds of people in this world: those who put their seats back on an airplane and those who don’t. I am the type to not do so but am fascinated and slightly jealous of people who do.
I’m not sure I ever would have found it to be annoying when the person in front of me puts their chair back had it not been for my dad, who while a really good guy when his feet are planted on the ground, is THE bitchiest of all the fliers I know on a personal level. I witnessed this several times when flying with him and heard about it when I didn’t: the raging anger toward the person in front of him for ‘slamming’ his or her seat back into his knees which are attached to long legs, making it impossible for him to move. I once watched him place his palms flat against the seat of someone who had the audacity to do this and shake-push the person’s seat relentlessly, almost causing a very embarrassing inflight incident.
Flying in general can bring out the worst in what I assume to be normally nice people so I try hard to see it from both sides of the seat. It really boils down to the fact that humans were not REALLY meant to fly, especially in a sardine can with a motor on each side. We’re no different than the other animals on this planet when it comes to wanting to be able to stretch out or curl up, run free or lean back when we want to. The craving for physical space can be akin to breathing and when we don’t get it, sometimes a Mr. Hyde scene erupts. Those who are able to keep that shit inside are not really any better, with our smirks and holier-than-thou eye rolls amongst the other outwardly sane people when we witness unsightly rage.
My biggest question is why do airplane seat manufacturers even give the option of reclining? Is it some kind of moral test for humanity? I mean does one to two inches really make a huge difference to the overall comfort for the person reclining their seat? Isn’t the left to right thing hard enough on a plane? I’m a moderately hefty gal and while I don’t yet spill over into the seat next to me, I have deep empathy for people who do. It’s a huge challenge to keep my elbows in and my hips not touching the person next to me. The dilemma over the rights to the armrests is a forever quandary but in my mind the middle seat should get both left and right arm rests. The window seat recluse can lean his or her body against the wall. As a claustrophobic, weak bladder aisle seat sitter, I am fine with one armrest and the ability to lean out, the risk of being slammed into by the flight attendant’s food cart being 100% worth it to be able to give the person in the middle seat some grace, because they are sitting in HELL and are, along with the window seat weirdos, at the mercy of us aisle sitters to get up every time they need the restroom.
And then there is the whole exiting the plane in proper format. There are always those people who are in a bigger hurry and believe themselves to be far more important than the rest of us, breaking the unwritten but clearly understood exit rule: yield to the front, left first then right. Just the other day, I was reaching up to grab my bag from the overhead bin and exit (it was MY TURN) when a guy behind me almost knocked me and my mid air bag to the ground in order to get in front of me so he could deboard the plane an extra three seconds faster. I actually heard a couple people gasp when he did this,including the flight attendant. I really fought to push down the rage and tried to cover it with humor, murmuring loud enough for the witnesses who had gasped to hear “he clearly has to poop really bad” and got some laughter to ease the annoyance but admit that I followed behind him, giving his back my best scowling frown, still seething but also curious to understand what was so important that he had to get off the plane so quickly. And yes indeed it was to get to the restroom. So I mostly forgave him.
But back to the seat thing: I have been tired enough on an airplane to THINK that leaning my chair back two inches would change my entire psyche for the better, reclining enough so that my head doesn’t keep jerking violently forward every time I start to doze off, like it’s trying to catapult itself off of my neck and into the lap of someone three seats up.
But I just can’t do it.
I care too much what strangers think of me.
Isn’t that interesting?
But if it was one of my long legged sons behind me, I’d fling my chair right into their laps without a care in the world.
Until they shake-pushed my seat back into its proper incline.
peaceof8 