A Couple Things I Would be Thankful For on Thanksgiving if I Were Me…Oh No Wait…


I am thankful that Mitchel is not a giant robot on account of the stuff he said he would do to all of his brothers this morning if he WERE a giant robot…the house is not big enough for that shit…

I am thankful that I am CLEARLY almost emotionally ready to move on from summer because this morning in the shower I mentally put “remove the remaining August nail polish from my toes” on my four-day weekend To Do List…

I am thankful that the champagne bottles I bought for Thanksgiving Day mimosas have screw on/screw off caps and not them dangerous corks that don’t go back in…it created less pressure to drink the first bottle quickly…so as to enjoy it while the bubbles are still bubbly…which stopped any potential pie burning situations and lowered the risk of poking my eye out…which would be bad…even on a holiday…though for sure memory building…

I am thankful that I only had to say one time “you should all talk to each other like any ONE of you could DIE any second and not like you are in a session of CONGRESS” during the morning’s Monopoly game…though that could be due to the fact that Dillin got pissed about all the swearing and the cheating (NO I was NOT PLAYING I was making PIES and drinking mimosas, with BOTH eyes) and quit half way through…it was Duncan who caused the issues and he wasn’t even playing…he is a monopolizing taunter…I taught him well…

I am thankful for the personal growth created today (for a few of us) by a friend of the family, farm raised giganticus turkey that Grant is cooking today…that could be bad grammar…the friend is not the turkey, the friend is a person who has enough property to raise turkeys on…but I was not directly involved, so the turkey could have been friendly and therefore a friend of the family…before, well…you know…anyhow…Grant had to have some kind of contraption built by a buddy for the weber (see picture below)…(which required some beer drinking) so the said (now dead) (which is good because that would just be wrong) (see proof via picture above) turkey would fit (strong strategic thinking and socializing)…and Daniel was able to point out to David and Mitchel (who are still young enough to be impressed by some things Daniel does) just where the head used to be before he CUT IT OFF WITH A KNIFE at our friend’s house on turkey killing day (boastful brother bragging)…and I discovered a new way to be a team player during this super fun, cooking day while at the same time SHINING in all my O.C.D. glory by being in charge of plucking the stray feathers that were overlooked in the killing field…which were a lot in my humble opinion…enough at least to make Maria throw up in her mouth a little bit…Grant had to physically pull that bird away from me (hand eye coordination plus exercise)…


I am thankful that I always have something to be thankful for on account of the fact that I have so many people, things and historical events in my life to poke fun at…because what else would I do today now that all the feathers are plucked?











1 Comment

  1. Betty Newlin says:

    Not only do you have to get ALL the feathers off the turkey…remember, Heather to get ALL the corn silk off the corn cobs!!! This has been ingrained in all the women in our family! Happy Thanksgiving and cheers to you! Our Mimosas will be drunk this weekend and we DO have corks which means Ned has to be home to open the bottle because it scares me to death! Love you!


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